DEAR DEIDRE: I USED a semen detection test to check my wife’s underwear and it confirmed that she’s cheating on me.
I can’t be made a fool of any longer.
We’ve been married for 15 years and we both work in the hotel trade.
She was the pretty receptionist while I was a graduate trainee when we met. We’re both 37 now.
Our industry is rife with men and women sleeping around, probably because of the access to empty bedrooms.
Many men over the years have given my wife the come-on and tried to split us up.
After being married for just nine months I challenged her about how she was behaving with another guy at work.
She admitted they had an emotional connection but denied an affair.
She said it was all down to me, as I’d made her feel unwanted but she begged me to stay with her.
This happened half a dozen more times over the years, even after she’d had our children and started working part-time.
One time I demanded she take a lie- detector test, which she failed.
I prepared to leave and she confessed to an affair with someone I didn’t even know about.
At least she had finally been honest, though, so I stayed and, of course, there were the kids to think about.
That was around three years ago but the problems have continued.
Even when she’s supposed to be working only mornings, she won’t come back until early evening.
She’s secretive about her phone and rumours are rife about her in the staff room. I manage the hotel now but I’ve heard the rumours myself. Curiosity got the better of me.
NEARLY half of men worry their penis is too small, but 85 per cent of women are happy with their partner’s size.
It’s skill not inches that makes a good lover in any case but a lot of men take some convincing.
My e-leaflet Manhood Too Small? should reassure.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org or message me on my Facebook page.
Our sex life has gone down the pan and I thought she might be getting it elsewhere. I looked at spy websites and realised there was a semen detection test.
I bought one, tested her underwear and it was positive. I gave her the chance to be honest with me but, again, she denied everything.
I want to move out but I can’t bear to leave the kids.
DEIDRE SAYS: Staying together when there is so much mistrust is damaging for your children. For their sakes you need to resolve your marriage one way or the other.
You feel betrayed but playing detective puts all the focus on whether your wife has or hasn’t been technically unfaithful.
It must feel very controlling to her but it does nothing to tackle what’s gone wrong between you and how to sort it out.
Caught my girl in bed with another man… then he did something I didn’t expect
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More, more, more!
Hot romps with sex-on-legs housemate always leaves me wanting more
Family are furious over my hot sex with brother’s sister in law
I had hot sex with my 53-year-old mum-in-law while my wife was on life support
I’ve been bedding my ‘uncle’ and now his son is blackmailing me into having sex
Love my girlfriend, but find I get more pleasure from porn than sex with her
I had hot sex at Glastonbury… but I was the 20th guy she’d bedded that weekend
Tell her you two need a serious talk as opposed to rowing. Say how unhappy you are and ask whether she’s willing to work with you to strengthen your marriage.
Is she willing to revive your sex life? Ask what changes she’d like to see.
This pattern has gone on for a long time but counselling could help. My e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Get Over It? explains.
If the end result is that you part, counselling can help minimise the distress for your children.
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